My Stingray Encounter: How a Painful Experience Led Me to Truly Understand Ho'oponopono

My First Real Lesson in Ho'oponopono

This is a story about my first experience of Ho'oponopono – the ancient Hawaiian practice of restoring balance and harmony with oneself, others, and the universe.

The week after completing my Lomi Lomi massage training, I felt like I was glowing from within – a thousand candles lighting the path to my purpose: to help others find peace and love within themselves and with the planet. During the training, we were introduced to the mantra of Ho'oponopono:

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."

In our Lomi Lomi training, we were told this powerful practice could help us release negative emotions, heal old wounds, and return to a state of inner balance. I thought it sounded beautiful… but I didn’t quite know how I would apply it in everyday life...yet.

A Summer Swim Turns Into a Sharp Wake-Up Call

It was a scorcher of a day on the Tweed Coast, so my husband and I headed to Tugun Beach for a cooling afternoon swim. The ocean was calm but a little murky, with bits of seaweed swirling beneath the surface. I was in a peaceful state, body surfing little waves and mentally swimming in gratitude — channeling my best Oprah-level awe for life, Gandhi-level compassion, and Jane Goodall-level love for nature.

And then—stab.

A sharp pain hit the top of my foot. Then another, deeper jab, straight to the bone. I yelped and hobbled out of the water. Blood trickled into the sand.

“Was it a stonefish?” my husband asked.“There’s no way,” I replied. The wound was on top of my foot, and stonefish sting when you stand on their spikes. “Maybe a crab?” I suggested half-heartedly. But I knew this was something worse. The pain was escalating fast. From a 3 (mild aspirin-worthy discomfort) to a 6 (I-can’t-walk level).

A man on the beach came over and took one look:“Reckon it’s a stingray. It’s going to hurt for a while. Get it in hot water.”

From Pain to Panic: A Lesson Emerges

On the car ride home (a very long 12 minutes), the pain crept up to an 8. My mind narrowed into the present moment. Tears flowed. I tried to stay calm, but two very different voices emerged inside me:

• One was the optimist: “You’re okay. This is just a new experience. We’ll handle it.”

• The other was the Victim—the outraged, blaming, swearing, spiraling voice I had spent years working to silence.

“Why me? I was having such a good day! I don’t deserve this. F*ck this always happens to me. F*ck!”

I stepped straight into the shower and turned the hot water up as high as I could bear. The pain began to ease immediately. I was safe. I wouldn’t need the hospital. And in that moment, as the fog lifted, something shifted.

I saw the stingray clearly in my mind. She hadn’t attacked me. I’d likely stepped too close and scared her. She was defending herself.

I felt a wave of understanding — and then something else: a deep, sincere apology.

“I’m sorry, little ray. I’m sorry I frightened you.”

Tears flowed again, but this time from a place of release. I could feel the words naturally rise in my heart:

“Please forgive me.” Forgive me for sending you so much blame and anger

“Thank you.” for shining a light on my learned behaviour patterns of victimhood and blame and for teaching me an important lesson - that it is difficult to see the situation objectively when you are inside the pain experience. In my QHHT sessions I see that is true for both emotional and physical pain.

“I love you.” not just because I love all sea creatures, but because you offered me a profound and lasting opportunity to learn and grow.

What Is Ho'oponopono?

Ho'oponopono is a traditional Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. Originally used to resolve conflicts within families and communities, it has evolved into a spiritual healing practice used worldwide.

At its core, Ho'oponopono teaches that:

• We are all deeply connected.

• Our external reality reflects our internal state.

• Healing begins by taking 100% responsibility for our thoughts, emotions, and actions.

The most well-known modern form of Ho'oponopono centers on a four-part mantra:

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you."

These simple phrases work as a powerful cleansing tool — helping us let go of resentment, guilt, and judgment. By taking responsibility and offering forgiveness and love, we restore harmony within ourselves and in our relationships.

Ho'oponopono in Everyday Life

That stingray taught me something no book or training could: the power of forgiveness, empathy, and self-responsibility. Pain is a powerful teacher, and sometimes it takes being cracked open to let wisdom in.

Since that day, I’ve embraced Ho'oponopono as a part of my daily life. Whether I’m facing conflict, emotional pain, or simply noticing a negative thought pattern, I return to the mantra:

I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

Try It for Yourself

If you're holding onto anger, regret, or sadness — or if you're ready to shift out of victim mode and into healing — try repeating this simple mantra. You don’t need anything but your intention and a willingness to take responsibility for your own healing and happiness.

Let it begin within you, and watch how it ripples out into the world.

I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

With love and gratitude,

Jodie at The Healing Bower

Warning - this blog post is not intended as medical advice. The barb of a stingray has a venom. The pain can be eased with heat (possibly by denaturing the venom protein). Standard symptoms may include nausea, vomiting, diarrhoea, extreme pain and cramps. The barbs or spines can be left behind in the wound and it's really easy for an infection to follow - so please seek medical attention if you find yourself stung.